Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A decision has been made

Are you sure you want to make that decision? I don't think you know, what you know, is not who I know. Those eyes, that tone, this is not the road I used to know. How did I get so lost in the moment when in reality that life was over. But I used to own this house, the clothes off your back, and that heart that's been put in a garbage bag. Now I'm just unwanted things in the back of your car that's been dropped off at a donation store. Still I look for myself in every item trying to figure out why I ever chose such stupid things, they could never be good enough for me, but I could never ever part with the.

Should I say? Or should I stay? A decision has been made but I didn't make it. The devil got in tonight and I don't think you know, what you found, I didn't know. Its as clear as black and white, the devil's in the line, and I dead by nine. I never wanted and I never needed, but I got two bags of unwanted things at my door, I let my brother drown in a pool of drool on the floor. This road is coming to an end and its slowly unwinding every character that played part to this broken heart.

I made a decision, it all ends tonight, I'm going to bury those unwanted things in the ground. I'm going to take these knifes out of my back, I'm going to erase those tire tracks, and I'm going rogue all on my own. Because now you see me, now you don't, those unwanted things become an necessity but you could never have them possessively. A decision has been made.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Decision making

Sometimes the thing you want the most is not often the thing you need the most. But when you obtain this thing you crossed oceans and moved mountains for, you find yourself unhappy and questioning yourself, what will my future be like? Will it be this unhappy? Is it just a bad day? A bad month? A bad year? It’s so easy to put something back on a self at a store that you just simply changed your mind about buying when checking-out. It’s not so easy though to take someone out of your life that you thought you wanted because of love, until one day you realize, was I ever in love? Maybe I was blinded by my want and fooled by my need. In this world you often get cheated, but it’s not about grieving about your lost, it’s about the decisions you make once you realize where you are. 

Should I go left and go down that scary path? Or should I go right and leave my current life? Maybe I should go straight forward into the darkness, not knowing where I’ll end up, dead or alive. If only there was a way of going back, knowing what I know now, would I make the same mistake twice? Oh decision making, I love the way you make me pull my hair out at night, staying up until the morning light. It’s a tough decision but it’s easy to make when it’s not your life. This very thought brings you to tears that it’s so easy to get where you want to be but it’s so hard to make that decision. 

Sometimes the thing we want the most keeps us from the thing we need the most. Yet, we always get what we want and in the end we are unhappy. It’s exhausting to think about all things we got by wanting and now we have all these things we don’t want. The stress of unwanted things, the fear of being unhappy, and the need of knowing is a constant ridicule that is haunting our mind. But no decision has been made, instead we breakdown and cry.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Fairytale neighborhood

Dearly beloved fairytale neighborhood, I think I’m ready to leave, I think I’m ready to fly, I think I’m ready to die and leave this world behind. Oh so many don’t know the tragic lies that have been told like happily ever after in a magical world, but to tell you the truth it’s just not true. Here in my neighborhood happy doesn’t exist, not even in your dreams, not even in your hopes for a future, or in your wildest wish, it just can’t come true, not in my fairytale neighborhood. You see, I’ve seen all the wives miserable inside, all the husbands cheating and lies, despite the magic they still want more. We have castles instead of houses, carriages instead of cars, and we have royalty instead of family. But it’s just not enough for my fairytale neighborhood.
 
Somehow every character has a flaw like Sleeping Beauty sleeping with every guy that kisses her. What happened to her prince that married her? Divorced because she just kept sleeping around, I guess she just couldn’t help it, she is the queen of going down. Let’s not forget about Arial who sells her soul to sleep with boys. Oh everyone thinks mermaids are so rare but here their like sushi, they will never fill you up, not even after a dozen, they just don’t phase your heart. But the biggest flaw of all is my ex-girlfriend Jasmine, who I gave my heart, but she rather sleep with Jafar. Here all the good girls are sluts, the villains rule the world, and I have to live every day in this fairytale neighborhood. 

Yeah my brothers got a keeper but she’s a sea witch that’s slowly manipulating him to do her evil bidding, like Cruella Deville keeps running over my dogs, and the old lady from next door keeps leaving poison apples on my porch. I’m so sick of this fairytale neighborhood where I have to pretend everything is fine, where I have to smile in pictures, and wear nice suits when I dine. It’s all just phony, this world is bologna, and their all just trying to be something they’re not. I’ll leave my throne, I’ll leave my magic, I’ll leave my heart, I’ll leave it all to leave this fairytale behind. Dear fairytale neighborhood, fuck you for leading me to believe you were real!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Helpless Tonight

I am falling into a motionless state of mind, every finger typing to word my very last bit of hope is just getting weak, and my eyes flutter as darkness surrounds my thoughts. I got bitterness on the tip of my tongue that’s making my words sour but I swear it’s not my intention be so rude with imprudent remarks. I’m on strings tonight dangling off your wisdom in a dizzy unseen mess with intellectual cords that got me hung up on your words. I’m just a boy hanging there, in midair, floating at ease, yet with torture pains wrapping around my neck got me suffocating for help. Just be a dear and take my pain, fake it with my name, to be forever in debt to your fate. 

Silently vile vomit splats to the floor, I’m so sick to the core, I’m just tired of being sore from the tides of laboring works. The waves won’t stop and like a sinking ship I’m going down to the ocean floor, so slow, so effortless, so plain it spots like blood on white sheets to a new born whore. I’m speechless now, wanting out of this coffin I dug myself in, bombarded with bombs exploding with headaches just makes me want to pull the trigger of my brain. It’s like screeching long nails scratching down on a blackboard, sinking so deep into my thoughts, forcing me deeper and deeper into the ground. 

I’m buried under six feet of nightmares so heavy I can’t even move an inch to scratch an itch so ferociously irritating it’s got my skin rotting off like ants swarming to a carcass. The stench of this disguising mood is so far up the moon that I’m howling like a wolf so violently trying to survive the night. With every bite I take there is a knife slicing pieces of my insides like cold cuts of meat I’m just stacking up my organs for the monster inside to eat. I’m running out of energy, out of light, out of fight to continue with this life, I’m crippling down so fragile like glass I break with just one touch, I turn to dust.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Life after death

(The Clash of Friendship Part III)

Just a year ago we clashed, we crashed into the ground, smashing into every tree branch on the way down. It was a fatal crash for no one survived, we all died, moving on into different lives. It was horrific the pain, the game you played, the way you tore me to pieces in just one day. But it’s all over now, the anger, the hate, and the violence all went to shame. Life after death is so much calm just like we used to be when you were young. I know your spirit still lingers here, your voice still whispers my name, but please don’t call because we both know we’ll fall apart. We are living separate lives in different worlds and if they ever intertwine we might just decline into deeper masses of hate crime.

I know you moved on into a better life that is healthier than mine. I can feel the change in your heart, I know you’ve gone to a better place now, somewhere in the light you are shining through but I’m still in the dark. In my new life I am a little bit colder, a little bit darker, and a little bit deadlier. Just promise me you’ll never come back, I promised you I’d never hurt you, but you hurt me instead and now I’m a monster. Life after death isn’t always happy, not everyone goes to heaven, some people go to hell, now I’m burning. Maybe in another life we could’ve been more than just friends but in this life we’ve already ended. 

You’ve burned the bridge to my heart, it’s why we fell apart, now you can’t come back and play the girlfriend part. The friendship is dead, you can’t fix it with words, a broken heart can only be filled with distractions but deep down the pain is still there. I know you still trying to resuscitate, but I don’t want you to precipitate in my life, it’s time for you to let go. You can’t hold on forever, not even in the afterlife, you’ve got to release my ghost that’s haunting you. Just a year ago we were fine, now we’re dead, and life after death… let’s just give it a rest.

Monday, September 19, 2011

The Duel (Harry Potters)

Darkness has taken over, the brother I once knew is no more, and he rises as the villain from the deception. She has you under a love spell making you do her dark magic, can’t you see my life is now tragic, everything is dramatic. Our lives are now a movie and right now the duel scene is about to begin. You want to be the bad guy, you want to be Voldemort, well I’ll be Harry Potter, now let’s duel like wizards do. Take a bow because I’ll vow to destroy the evil soul she gave to you. Now disarm yourself, don’t you fight back, you know you deserve to die. How dare you fight back when you know I’m right! Now take your punishment, take it good, take my rage like you took her too! You want to be a father, a mother too, but you can’t even be a brother, now stop crying you fool! I write stories, I write them good, if you don’t like them then let’s duel! 

Shedding light upon the night with your lumos you’re still not right. You think you’re the good guy, you think your Harry potter, well then I’ll be a Snape so you can put on your fake face. Now go ahead, tell everyone I’m evil, that I’m plotting against you, and that I want to kill you. I’m not the bad guy, I’ve been protecting you all this time, you foolish boy look at what you’ve destroyed. A magical bound that was so tight, now we’re foes in a dueling fight, fire and ice it’s a horrific site. But I’ll stand my ground, I won’t back down. You think you can just wave your magic wand and take everything I own. Take my niece, take my joy, well now its war! Get away from my goddaughter, you won’t take her too, now get behind me and watch us duel. 

Your starting fires but you’re not following through, show your face, fight me you fool! You’re acting like a little girl, you want to be the bad girl, you want to be Bellatrix, well I’ll be Mcgonagall so I can teach you a lesson. Now look at me you bitch, I tell the truth, my words are like daggers stabbing through, this is why you feel pain because you know it’s true. Now fight me! Fight me! You coward! Stop hiding! You started a war but you’re not willing to duel, you stupid fool! You run like the wind, black smoke fumigating, intoxicating, obligating to breathe. But I know dark magic too, I can play your silly game, I’ll show you my duel. Faster than light, brighter than white, smoke descending from the sky, it’s time to die. You will run no more, I will fight fire with fire, now avada kedavra! Dead just like my grandma. I write stories, I write them good, if you don’t like them then fuck you!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Bloodline

You were next in line, heir to the throne, king of Rome. But somewhere along the line you fell in love, you fell blind, you fell out of line. Oh brother how could you betray our mother? You crossed the line. Everything is not fine! My blood has done me wrong, a betrayal was made, an alliance that didn’t side with mine. Now you won’t be king, I’ll be the one who wears the crown when the old man dies down. You used to rule this kingdom but now I rule the world. You made your choice, you took her side, and now you left the bloodline.

Distance and cold, you’re all alone in the darkness of this world. You hold a grudge so deeply, so aggressively, so persistently you’re not letting go. But you have no reason for this rage for you have only caused a war. You may have a grudge but now I have a vendetta against you that is seeking revenge. Never have I been dissed before like I have been dissed by my own blood. I’m at my boiling point and its time I draw the line. I won’t tolerate disrespect and you have disrespected the bloodline. You have no grace, you have no shame, and you don’t even know your own last name. 

You're king to an evil throne and don’t you know we’re at war. When the time comes to behead you, I’ll turn my head like you turned your back on us, and I’ll forget you’re my blood like you have forgotten about us. It’s going to be a bloody fight because I treated you with grace and now it’s time to show you my RAGE! You made your choice, you took her side, and now you’re not a part of the bloodline.


Friday, September 2, 2011

The Perfect Stranger

I used to believe that she could change, that I could write her in a different light, one that no mirror could ever portray. I used to believe she could learn from her mistakes - which she would become humble and grateful upon the many sacrifices I have made. But no. Not a gift, not a card, and not even a thank you from the bottom of her heart. Instead I’m put in the dark, I’m a stranger in the park, and I am looking for you in the playground but you don’t even know who I am. 

She told you that I’m a stranger you shouldn’t talk to, that I’m a psychopath you can’t trust, and that I am a villain that is plotting against you. But I am not. I’m your blood. And I’m here to protect you. It doesn’t matter what lies she may have told you, it doesn’t matter if you hate me for who I am, and it doesn’t matter if you think I’m a stranger. I’ll be the perfect stranger in the park, watch you play while I sit in the dark, until I know your safe I’ll listen with my heart. 

I used to believe she would bring you, that we would play in the backyard, just like a family would. But no. Instead she tore this family apart and now I’m a stranger to you. I have to be in the shadows while you grow in the light, is this really the way we treat family? No. But she won’t even change for you. Darling don’t you cry because she told you that your uncle died. There is a perfect stranger out there with your blood type and if you ever need a heart, liver, or any organ, you could have mine because I am the perfect stranger that will save your life.


Sunday, August 28, 2011

Fuck you I'm going to Disney World

A lie was told, my dream was stolen, and deception on her lips as she gave him a kiss. A princess gets everything she wants as she smiles with her rotten soul. Something evil is brewing in her, the smell of poison is in the air, and he is on his way to hell. To Disney World they fly, love birds in the sky, while I wait for the lie. He should have been here by now but too many lies have been told and now he’s at Disney World. He left his sister, he left his mother, and he said fuck you I’m going to Disney World to his brother. 

The poison has set in and he believes he is humble. But we have been disowned. He left us behind, he left a path of destruction by lying, and now sister is crying. The princess is at Disney World celebrating her birthday while we are back in reality, blessedly paying the bills, while sister is visiting from the hills. My dream was Disney World but she took it like she took him for her own personal will, demanding him to go for the kill, putting the dagger in my heart. This is what drifted us apart, the princess getting between brothers, and her saying fuck you I’m going to Disney World while sister came to visit him. 

Lies were told, my family was disowned, and poison in her heart as she gave it to him. The princess got everything she ever wanted with her rotten soul. She went to Disney world with my brother in their lovers quarrel. But for all I care they can burn in hell! I don’t care that you are back in town, I don’t care if you are only here for a month, I don’t care about you! So fuck you! I’m going to Disney World without you!


Sunday, July 17, 2011

Ball n Chain

Its sounds like a whole lot of arguing with some fake display of public affection. They are the lovey-dovey couple next door with matching his and her hats that somehow can’t seem to keep their hands off each other when they are in the public eye. Yet, when they are in the comfort of their own home it seems to be the opposite with plates being thrown and walls being punched. When someone asks about their so called marriage in privet, that’s when the tears come pouring out, that’s when they spit out the truth. They can’t stand each other but no one wants to admit their love story is really a sham.

Here she comes to the party with the ball n chain but everyone knows that she doesn’t really want to be tamed. She tries to throw a wild eye stare to the boy standing with the crazy hair, but every time she walks the ball rolls behind, she is stuck like glue to a man who doesn’t fulfill her. But the party goes on and she dances even though she is in chains, she can’t help it if she wants to get laid. She is the loudest one there but no one seems to care or really stare, so she grabs their attention by making a dare, she lets down her hair and dances in her underwear. 

She makes all the dogs come running out of their cage, to the center of the stage, they drool with a daze. But it’s all bark and no bite; no one has fallen for her lies. The only fool that has been fooled is her man who she has booed. This sudden dis has caused him to be pissed and with his fist he smashes her kiss. Oh everyone knows they’re headed for divorce but at the end of the party she reassured him she has remorse. And as they head out of the door everyone said “aww can we have a little more”. But to me it sounds like a whole lot of arguing with some fake display of public affection. Lovely-dovey is more like fakey-fakey.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

The rollercoaster called love


I waited all day, I waited all night, weeks, months, years, even decades. I think even in previous lives I waited centuries just to get a glimpse of it. But today I only waited hours in the flustering line clustered with people waiting to ride the ride. Someone asked if the waiting was almost over, I asked if the wait was worth the ride, then I heard the ride approaching and I knew I was finally at the front of the line. People came screaming off the ride, “It’s the best I ever had!” as the ride halts before my eyes, my stomach started twisting in knots as I stepped aboard the rollercoaster called love. It began to slowly take off then it started to climb - up, up, up it went into the sky. I was up so high I thought I was going to die. Then when I thought the rollercoaster was going to come steeply speeding down, it just went straight cruising along the skyline.

I was up there with all the stars and on a summer night they are really nice but to be honest the stars weren’t as bright as they were when I watched them from below. Up and close they are dull, full of dust, covered in lust. They lost their shine, it didn’t make me want to be their mine, and they weren’t even kind. Everyone seemed to be impressed but I was distressed! The ride was more than one night and I wasn’t having fun - I just wanted to get off the ride but it wasn’t ending. The ride continued to go in a straight horizontal line, there were no twists, no thrills, no down falls, it was just a boring ride. I thought this was going to be like the movies when they go on a magic carpet ride, when the boy kisses the girl and sparks fly, when they close their eyes and hold each other’s hands because the ride is a scary bumpy life full of twists and sharp curves.

But no, this wasn’t like that. There was no magic, there were no kisses, and there was no element of surprise. The ride was socially awkward. And when it finally came to an end I cried. To have waited this long for such a disappointment, how could you not cry? I waited all day, I waited all night, weeks, months, years, even decades. And when I finally got to the front of the line and got in, and then came out, I realized I was in line to a whore house this whole time. This is love? I rather die, so this is my goodbye.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Scarlet FEVER

I woke up way too early today by accident, dawn is just breaking in, but for some reason I have this sudden urge to run. I close my eyes for a second to imagine the stars fading away as I run through the wee hours of the morning- it’s an adrenaline rush. The excitement has filled by body within seconds that I don’t even bother to put on my shoes or wear my clothes, I run out in the nude. Everything was going fine until a shadow crossed by path, now I’m burning up, weighing a thousand pounds heavier as everything spins out of control. I lost my balance, now I’m on the floor and there is a strange figure standing to the right. 

His foot is ice cold as he places his foot over my mouth so that I won’t scream- his cold foot is a relief to my burning sensation. “Don’t hurt him”, says a women’s voice in the background as she came forward into the light. Hers eyes are scarlet red as they locked on to mine- it was like I couldn’t look away. It felt like I was under hypnosis, I could hear everything, but I couldn’t move an inch of my body- I was numb. Then the morning fog rolled in and they faded into the dark as I lay in a pool of blood, their gone. 

I’m not sure what happened, I’m not sure who they were or what they were, if they were human or if they were monsters. But I have a feeling a ritual was performed and now I have this scarlet fever. Did I find love? Was it lust? It couldn’t have been because I’ve never felt this way before. But I have all these bite marks all over my body and no teeth to show for it. Suddenly I feel sick. I feel disgusted. I can’t stand it. I closed my eyes- I just want this scarlet fever to go away. I scream as loud as I could, then I realized I was just in the comfort of my own home this whole time, was I dreaming? Because dawn is still breaking in… But why is my skin broken? I have scarlet FEVER.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Oh brother how you've changed

I woke up today to find you here banging on our door, demanding why I didn’t let you in before, but excuse me I thought you didn’t live here anymore? Why do you keep coming back and asking for our help? Once your out, your out, your on your own. Don’t look back, just keep going straight forward on that path, no matter how bumpy or crazy it seems its life and sometimes that’s just the way it’s suppose to be. These are lessons in life you must learn, but when your here almost every day asking for money, childcare, or whatever the dilemma of the day is, your not learning anything. 

It’s not cool when your twenty-five, you have a child, but you have no job. Your the man, your suppose to be wearing the pants, bringing home all the cash. But instead your so far up her ass, she’s got you wrapped around her finger, and in a snap she’s got you on your knees licking the crap off her ass. Your her bitch and she’s got you on a short leash. She’s completely emasculated you, she ripped off your testicles and she has them inside her mouth, using them as the mouthpiece which she speaks from.

She castrated you, oh brother how you’ve changed. Your no longer the father, your the mother who gave birth to this daughter, and now she’s a reminder of you. I remember when we were young, you were the bigger brother, now I look down on you and pity you, what a difference five years have made. Your my brother up until the day your not my brother and I think that day is today. Take back your balls, even if she bleeds, grab them while you can and place them where they belong. Until then you are not my brother, have fun being a mother.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

a cure for a poor man's heart

A poor man stumbles over a rock as he walks the streets in search for a job. He’s in aching pain, he has a disease that’s rotting his core, his mouth is full of nerves that have been exposed. It is a horrific situation, for he could die if he doesn’t find a way to pay for the cure, but being poor is why poverty has taken its tolls. All day he walked the streets looking for a job but his pronunciation wasn’t as good as the occupation he was applying to and he didn’t get the job. He dreads to go home without finding a job because he knew you would be angry if he didn’t bring home a little cash, but there he goes. 
 
He walks into the mansion you live in with a tear in his eye, but you’re not the kind of person to be sympathetic over this kind of situation, and you raise your voice about the bills getting paid. It doesn’t take you long until you ask his family for money but a poor man has an even poorer family. You can put on your sad face, you can cry out your eyes all you want, and you can say it’s for the cure but you don’t fool me one bit. If you love him so much you would pay for the cure yourself, it’s a small price for a life time of love, but you’re not in love, you’re in lust, and you prove it everyday. All you care about is yourself; you’re a selfish, narcissistic, egotistical bitch. 

You want his family to pay but I got your cure right here; sell your new car, sell your new washer, sell your big screen TV, sell your expensive toothbrushes, sell everything! Don’t be afraid to leave your new house to live under a bridge, don’t be afraid to go from eating at restaurants to eating out of dumpsters, and don’t be afraid to give up your life to save a life you love. It’s for a cure for a poor man’s heart but you don’t deserve his heart. And that’s why you don’t have a ring around your finger because you can’t handle the for better or for worst part of a marriage. You say it’s a do or die situation but he’s still rotting inside while you sit on your porcelain throne.

Friday, May 13, 2011

The opening of doors

The first thing I hear is clapping, the first thing I see is smiles, and the first thing I smell is the fear running through the back of my mind like a lamb facing a pack of lions. I am in this illusion of success as the doors of opportunity open before my eyes causing this sudden burst of high emotions. But just as every door in my future cracks opens, every door from my past slowly unlocks. I am in a mental place now, between my imagination and my conscience, there is a ceremony of commencement going on. And just as I'm about to cross the stage I look back, the short hallway suddenly becomes endless, and every door slams open.

The clapping suddenly stops, the smiles quickly fade, and the fear instantly becomes horror. There is a monster creeping out of the door that reads 'HIGH SCHOOL'. The monster's tentacle immediately grabs me and slowly drags me through the dark endless hallway. As I am being dragged through my past my dreams start to get teary as they drip out like smoke. I wish someone could save me, that someone could fight this nightmare away, to lock the door forever. A friend maybe? But back then I had no friends and now the nightmare is slowly eating me away.

As I am getting closer to the door I am becoming more and more weak. I'm beginning to wonder that I might not make it. My future is starting to look like miles away as I begin to enter the 'HIGH SCHOOL' room. I am an inch away from the monster when I start to think about what I have accomplished, the goals I made, and the future that awaits. All of a sudden the monster, the hallway, and the doors all disappear. I am now crossing a stage, holding a paper that means nothing to me, wondering if the doors of my past will ever stay closed? But all I hear is clapping, all I see is smiling back at me, and the only thing I smell is the smell of a new beginning.


Sunday, May 8, 2011

Reality check on aisle two

Welcome to the store of superficiality, where barbie gets botox, where ken gets a tan, and where you shop for food. I saw you enter the store with a baby and I thought what a lovely mother you are. But then as I saw you go down the aisles and fill up the shopping cart, I realized you aren't a mother at all, you are just some stupid fat bitch with a baby. When you have a baby that just pooped its last diaper and the food just ran out, its only motherly of you to go out and buy more, but all your buying is beer. We're going to need a reality check on aisle two please.

Just put back all the alcohol ma'am and you won't get hurt. But all you do is laugh. You think its funny that your baby is in a newspaper diaper you made yourself, but its far from funny, its just sad. Your baby has no clothes, yet you have all new tags on, put back all those beer cans ma'am and buy your baby some pants. We need a reality bitch slap on aisle two! Ma'am, step away from that shinny new car, can't you see that you are in debt. You went to a rock concert instead of paying your rent and now your in deep debt. But you don't care. When things get tough you run to mom and dad for money, you say its for the bills, and they give you all they can. But stop telling lies! All your buying is beer. ATTENTION ALL EMPLOYEES, WE NEED A REALITY BEATING ON AISLE TWO! ASAP!

Excuse me ma'am, your a selfish bitch, and I'm not going to take it anymore. I'll be the one to bitch slap you every time you buy beer instead of baby food. Don't deny ma'am, I just caught you red handed. I don't care if its your birthday today, twenty-one isn't all about having fun. Your a mother now and its about time you start acting like one. Spend time with your child instead of spending time with your friends. Ma'am save your breath, I know your type. All you want to do is party all day, you don't care that you have a child or bills to pay, all you care about is having fun. But I'm sorry ma'am that's not the way you raise a child. I don't care if you get angry, I don't care if you start crying, I'll be the one that beats the shit out of you when you step out of line.

YOU BITCH! HOW DARE YOU ASK MY MOTHER FOR MONEY WHEN YOU ARE MAKING WAY MORE THEN SHE DOES! AND SHES STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEAT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU, I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU UNTIL YOUR EYES TURN BLACK, UNTIL BLOOD COMES POURING OUT OF YOUR NOSE, UNTIL ALL YOUR TEETH HAVE FALLEN OFF! I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU UNTIL YOU LEARN!..... Clean up on aisle two please.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Code blue


(The clash of friendship part II)

The last thing I remember is that we were flying in the sky, higher then the clouds, above heaven and its Angels. Then all of a sudden we started going down, into the ground we crashed, burning into the ocean. Now I'm in this hospital bed covered in wounds, flowers on the nightstand, and you by my side like if you had been here all this time. But bitch get your hands off my chest because the last thing I remember was that you drove this friendship right into the ground. Now you want to bring me back because your life sucks but that’s just too bad. Go ahead and sound the alarm, tell them its a code blue because my heart just stopped beating for you.

Run the nurses right in, even bring the doctors too, they can't fix this heart, it just beat its last pulse. Crash cart now, defibrillate my heart, but remember if you bring me back I still hate your ass. Yeah my heart is beating again but how long can I stand to look at you? Your still sickening me, bitch step back, get off my dick. I don't want to give you a chance because the last time I did you let what's her face back into my life causing drama and my mama said "I don't want her here". Can't you get a clue bitch, I don't love you. Why did you bring me back? I was having fun with my grandma and my dog skip. Now I'm in this world again, I thought I left it behind but you dug me up, bitch can't you let me die in peace.

Tears are dripping down your face like a river it has a current but bitch you won't drag me in. I don't believe any of your sympathetic bull shit. Please just stop your making me sick! I'm going now cause I can't stand one more minuet of this, I'll just unplug all these needles cause I never wanted any of this. Just forget about me, pretend I don't exist, I already did the same, bitch I don't care if you can't sleep. This is me ripping my heart out of my chest because I don't want to live, try resuscitating me now bitch, I'm fucken dead. Go ahead and sound the alarm, tell them its a code blue because my heart just stopped beating for you.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The map to my heart (please don't get lost)

If I drew you a map to my heart, you would finally follow the path? All my life people have been promising me that they will find my heart but they always seem to get lost between the forest of temptation and the thorns of infidelity. I'm tired of being dead, I'm tired of being cold, I'm tired of being all alone. I just want to feel something, the tiniest little pulse is all I need, and then I could finally die knowing my heart beat. But don't make promises you cannot keep, don't have doubts for you will bleed, and don't verge off the path. Just follow the map to my heart and it will be yours to keep.

Find a way past the brick wall and your journey will begin. You must go through the land of sharp objects were you will bleed. But don't take a rest, and don't take a seat, for the sharp objects will make you scream while rives of blood will pour out of your skin. Just take a leap and hope you land on your feet. Once you get past the bottle caps the blood will stop. But don't slow down, and don't look up, for this is the land of exploding bombs. One wrong step and your guts will be splattered all over the ground. Just spin around like a tornado until your able to dodge all the bombs. Then get on the ground because then comes the bullets from the army man. Your in a war zone now and you must fight for me into the death and beyond. Many have died but I know if you try you will get by and proceed to the dead man's beach. This beach may seem like paradise but don't you take a break, beneath the sand lies a million corpse, just waiting to drag you below. You must have faith in order to go on, say a prayer, cast your demons aside, and the dead man's hands wont be able to take you down. Straight ahead is the sea of broken friendships where my best friend died. This sea is filled with horrible monsters, as soon as your flesh touches the water, the monsters will rip you to shreds. You have to be able to glide above the water, but don't fly too high because those who do, crash into the water and burn. Just gently hover over the sea until your able to reach the desert of black scorpions. Once you arrive at the desert you must become best friends with the scorpions, it is the only way to survive the desert, those who don't will die. The scorpions will help you get through the desert and lead you into the forest of temptation. Here in the forest the trees look like men and you will be tempted to look at their tree trunks. You will be captivated by the beauty of the trees and because of this you will get lost. Let my voice be the rope that pulls you away, just close yours eyes, open your heart to my voice, and you will get by.

Next comes the land of raging storms where you must face my rage. Here the sky only rains fire, the wind only blows lighting bolts, and the ground opens up releasing seven different hells. You must be able to walk through fire, breathe in lighting bolts, and survive hell in order to go on. Then comes the passage of death. You will think it is impossible to get up a hill where giant boulders are constantly rolling down, but it is possible. Where there is a will, there is a way. Once you are on top of the hill you will feel like you are on top of the world but don't gloat about your success just yet, there is a mountain of ice to be climb. Here you will face water in its deadliest form and if the ice doesn't kill you the cold will. You must have a warm heart to get you through the cold mountain. Once you get across the mountain you will find the most beautiful place ever, the thorns of infidelity. Here you will find a prince charming in every corner of each street and you will think you are getting that fairy tale ending. But fairy tales are only in children story books, this is reality, there is no such thing as a fairy tale. Your prince charming is just some guy wanting to get you in his bed and he'll do anything just to get you there. So don't stop to smell the roses, don't stop to listen to the bull shit, and stop if you see diamond rings becuase happiness is just a mile away. Once you swim your last mile through the sea of loneliness you will find yourself upon a paradise island. Here you will find my heart, to keep, forever. You've reached your destination and now I can finally die. My life of eternal happiness awaits.