Friday, November 19, 2010

The sun doesn’t shine when your around

I woke up in a world of darkness, well that’s what they tell me, its what the doctor says. I only remember waking up by your side, in a bed that was too small for your comfort. It was there in that bed that I realized the sun doesn’t shine when your around. Its always dark in that room, I could never really tell what was going on. It was like my eyelids were glued shut, I could hear your footsteps but I couldn’t see you. Then I would hear screams of a child and I would cry because I knew something was terribly wrong. I could hear it, I could smell it, I could feel it. It was horrible like flesh being peeled off and then shoved into a bleeding wound for someone’s sick pleasure. And when it was all over you would tell me you loved me, but all I could think about was the child.

When you left that day I saw the child for the first time in a corner of my room. The child was very scared and hurt. The closer I got to the child the more I realized this couldn’t be real. The child was covered in bruises and blood. I ask the child who did this? The child pointed to your picture. It was like a bad dream, I didn’t know what to do. Call the cops and save the child, or do nothing and stay with the one I love. I decided to make the right choice but the funniest thing happened, they took me instead. I told them about the child but they didn’t listen, they had me strapped to one of those emergency bed things and the next thing I knew I was in a hospital.

I keep telling them that they got the wrong person, that it was the child that was severely hurt, but they keep telling me I woke up in a world of darkness. Now I’m surrounded by doctors and nurses that keep telling me I’m going to be alright. This one nurse tells me I’m lucky because I survived. I don’t know what happened, all I know is the sun doesn’t shine when your around and I’m tired of being in the dark.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

The clash of friendship

When all emotions are laid on the table you feel a sense of relief and start to recover from the weight of your words. But don’t let your guard down just yet because just when you think your in a safe house this friendly place shifts into a hostile environment. All of a sudden the fire alarm goes off and people are fleeing. It seems like a war broke out with all the chaos erupting from the crowd, you better find your place fast because if your not on my side your dead. This isn’t a fire drill, this is a code red, a mayday because we’re going down. We’re about to crash and when we do, will you survive?

Torn apart by the impact, you burn a dark green like a poisonous venom set on fire. Your true colors are showing, dark and evil isn’t something I’m interested in. The rain pours in and just when you think you might be safe by repenting a tsunami crashes down on you and shifts you around. Your upside downs twisting in half like a rag doll, your in the palms of my hands now and it is up to me to save you from drowning. But no matter what I say or do your beyond saving. You’re a lost cause. Water fills your lungs as the oceans swallows you whole.

This is the clash of our friendship and you didn’t survive. We went head on like two cars colliding with each other and you ended up being fatal. You will soon be forgotten like the tragic accident that you are. You will begin to fade from all the pictures, your voice will no longer be heard, and your name is suddenly forgotten like everything else about you. You're a stranger that is already dead. My life will continue to move on as yours will never leave the one position it was program to, being on your knees. We've clashed, now understand your place in my life is no more.

Monday, August 16, 2010


Its funny how people think they got you all figured out. They think they can write your life story because they spent one day with you, but boy are they wrong. Like a mother knows a daughter, she will only know what she tells, never knowing of those dark secrets one carries. Only when one walks in another shoes will one fully understand someone. But whether they walk one inch or one mile they will never agree to such bull shit. They know you. They know you so well that they label you in a specific category that will define your every movement in life. No matter how much you protest it will do you no good because they got you right where they want you, in a friendship.

People call you by your new name and you wonder if it’s a nickname or if its permanent. But it never gets washed away or forgotten or even fades. Its stays strong in the back of their mind like an obsession; they believe their right. You forget who you are when everyone is telling you what you are and what your not. You become something that is universal and everywhere you go your expected to like certain things, but you don’t. You hate it. You hate everything about it. And as years go by people realized you never rolled with the change, never once stood by your name, never gave in to all those stupid games.

They misunderstood you. If they were blind they would of died because its not about what you hear, its about what you see and they didn’t see a thing. All they did was poke you with someone sharp that made you bleed. But their blind, they didn’t see the blood, they didn’t see your pain. Their going to eat their words because they misunderstood you. All this time you were just a friend and now they’re wishing you were more then just a friend. Its funny how people think they know you, that they can defined you, that they can just rename you. But karma is a bitch and your going to be praying that I don’t misunderstand you like you misunderstood me.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

can't stop us

In the blistering sun,
with luggage bags,
here we come,
all dressed in fun.

No water can drown us.
No thunder can scare us.
No lighting can burn us.
Rain or shine, nothing shall stop us.

No thief can rob us.
No man can harm us.
No fool can fool us.
No one can stop us.

No car can collide with us.
No detour can distract us.
No broken-down vehicle can prevent us.
Nothing can stop us from coming.

We are coming no matter what.
Death can’t stop us.
God can’t change our mind.
And you can’t say or do anything-
to keep us from coming.

Even if the sky falls, here we come-
so receive us with hugs and kisses-
because it will all be fun.


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

today was a shitty day

I knew today was going to be a shitty day.
I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed.
I shouldn’t have opened the curtains.
I shouldn’t have comb my hair.
Because today was a shitty day

I put my best shirt on.
Wore my favorite jeans.
Brought new shoes.
And today was a shitty day.

I walk to the restaurant with a rose in my hand.
Sat at the best table.
Ordered the riches food.
And today was a shitty day.

Mariachi’s sang the most wonderful songs.
Candles cover the table.
Lights hanged from the ceiling.
And today was a shitty day.

I sat by the coolest celebrities.
Drank the most exquisite wine.
Partied like a rock star.
And today was a shitty day.

I walked Taylor Swift home.
Kissed her goodnight.
Then found a lottery ticket.
Won a million dollars.
And today was a shitty day.

I brought a million dollar house.
A Ferrari too.
And today was a shitty day…
because you weren’t there.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


When I close my eyes my imagination gets the best of me. Twisted and corrupted by my own thoughts, I start to think the worse of you. Angels become demons in my head, virgins become whores, and you become a monster. Just when I think everything is ok you haze up my mind with your silence. Unable to breath in this fog of quietness I start to suffocate by your ruthlessness. Your caring and kind but when I turn my back you stab me right where it hurts, my heart. You leaving me bleeding, wounded, and suffering. You don’t react or resuscitate to my pain. Your motionless, cold-blooded, and dangerous. You can pin me up against the wall by just breathing, you can tear me apart with just one touch, and you can nearly kill me with those cold words you speak. But this is just my imagination right? Because its not real. Because I don’t want it to be real. But fangs don’t grown in a blink of an eye and wounds don’t just form out of thin air. Its not my imagination because you are not here and I am in pain.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

thats how powerful i am...

Its funny how you say you can’t,
Its funny how you say you wont,
You’ve made up your mind and that is that.

You have all the weapons you carry,
And all people you’ve stab,
To all the bridges you’ve burn,
So when we argue you fight back.

I will always be glad I didn’t throw a single punch
Because no mater the argument, no matter the fight,
I will always win and that is that.

I don’t need to use weapons,
I don’t need to stab people in the back,
I don’t need to burn bridges, in fact
All I need is a few words because that’s how powerful I am.

I can move mountains and I can make oceans disappear
Because when I speak my mind it will be all that you hear.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Fear

Does it scare you
that I never sleep?
That I lay awake
at night thinking of you.

When the stars
come out at night
is when I shine,
high above I fly
with wings like a dove
in the night peacefully
above your cozy little hub.

Chattered in a storm of fear
I cannot see past your tears,
nor your desire of sheer
completely covered with fear.

Like a phase
It is what you may say
that might convey
into bliss of tears
rather then drops of fear.

But with a quake there is a wake
and with the break of day
I lay away,
high above In the stars
With goons on the moon
Waiting for the day
you decide to come out
And play.


The tears you once shed because of me have made a puddle of water on the flood which you stand in. But its been weeks now and that puddle has turned into ice, and underneath that layer of ice is where I lay. The weigh of you’re words can easily break the ice allowing the shreds of ice to pierced my body, allowing you to fall through to a bloody death. You're not on stable grounds now, be careful I’m trap beneath you by the walls of ice that have been created from the cold words you once spoke. It’s a dangerous situation, I’ve never felt so cold. Careful you’re on thin ice, and with one wrong slip of the mouth you can crush me completely.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

two kings of the same color

In this ruling world of kings and queens, where taking orders is a crucial part of everyday life, there is a castle that has two kings of the same color ruling under one roof. The walls to this castle are painted red from all the blood that has been spilled. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know there is a war going on inside the castle between the two kings. Its a never ending war of power and authority. Only upon the death of a king will it silence this war. But killing a king is not that easy, the soldiers don’t know which orders to follow. Command after command and nothing is getting done. With frustrated kings a battle of words is broken out among the kings. But I’m done talking. Talk is cheap. I will be silent. And when you least expect it, you will suffer the raft of my actions. With no army or soldiers heads will fly, limbs will be cut, and torsos will be stabbed. I will be the only king standing today. And after this day we will never speak of the other king again nor will the soldiers question my power. After this day I will rule the throne forever.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I am a sad wolf, now hear my cry

We are a loving family but in our darkest hour we become monsters and we tear each other apart. But no matter how much blood is spilled we still come back to our human selves. Only scares and wounds are left to remind us what we really are, a pack of wolves. We may fight, we may cry, and we may rip each other apart but we will always be a pack and we always have each other’s back. I fought, and I will keeping fighting until the day I die, but now that the pack has split into two there is no need to fight. No need to argue. No need to go on. I am a sad wolf. The shewolf has ran off and I don’t know if she’ll ever come back. So every night I’ll howl to the moon hoping she will hear my cry and come back home.

Monday, June 7, 2010


We put up walls to have privacy, to feel security, and to have comfort. Those walls make houses, fences, and sometimes shields. We knock on those walls every now and then. Sometimes we are received with a friendly greeting and sometimes we are received with a rude gesture. But every once in a blue moon, you will knock and no one will answer. You will begin to wonder who lives inside that house, or maybe what’s behind that fence, or what’s that shield protecting? You will become curious. And like a curious cat you will begin to sniff around, trying to get behind the wall. You might try to claw your way in, maybe jump the fence, or even break the shield. But its not that easy, these endless walls are made of brick.

But like the sneaky cat you are, you dig a hole and slide right underneath the wall. You find yourself in a very dark place, there is not a single ray of light here. You become frighten. This place is not a house; no friendly neighbor lives here, no shiny car is parked here, and there is no treasure here. You found the easiest way in and now you want the fastest way out. But you can’t get out, your trapped. Whats behind the wall is a deathtrap and you fell right through it. Curiosity killed the cat. Curiosity will kill you.

You have to be careful, not all walls are doors. Not all walls make a houses. Some walls make boxes and these boxes have horrible things inside of them. You may not want to open that box in front of you because you never know what’s going to come out of it.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

my life in one game

The tables have turned, the rut I was once in is over. I’m out of that hole I dig myself into but not out of the danger. I can easily fall back in so I have to be cautious of the danger that lingers. One wrong step can lead to a terrible stumble into the pit of darkness. I have to be careful where I step and where I don’t step. I must take one step at a time until I’m able to pass the finish line free of danger, glorify myself, and become something more then just a pawn. Once I’ve done this I’m able to dance with the devils and sing with the angels, I’m able to cross oceans and skies, the world is mine for the taking. But I have to be careful, these waters grow cold, I’m not alone. I’m swimming with the sharks now and I could be easily ripped to shreds, it's second nature to them.

I must draw blood first to separate the men from the animals but it won’t be easy, I must be a black sheep; a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Hidden in the pack, waiting for the right moment, then I strike! Those who deal in lies will lose their heads and those who don’t will follow. I’m the leader now, the determined and forceful. The powerful and passionate. The dominate and magnetic. The compulsive and obsessive. Nothing will stand in my way. I will have my throne and I will have my queen. When I get old my queen will be my heart, body, and soul, without her I’m nothing. My loyal children will struggle to survive without her and so will I but I’m not dead yet, I wont go without a fight. I maybe the last one standing but this old man has a thing or two up his sleeve. I can bend water and walk on fire, I can breath in fear and release courage. Your scared, and with the snap of my fingers you’re dead.

Who am I? I’m your best friend and I’m your worst enemy. I’m your lover and I’m your hater. I’m your king and I’m your clown. I’m your right and I’m your wrong. I’m your good and I’m your bad. I’m the one you have to watch out for and I'm the one you have to worry about because you'll never know when I'll strike. Checkmate, your dead.

Friday, June 4, 2010


The desire for affection is an appetite of passion. And in order to have affection towards someone you must first work up an appetite; it’s a reckless mission of feeling full and nothing more. Everyday people eat, they stuff their mouths with food and these foods are innocent people. Every second someone is gobbled down like if it was a piece of cake, and I’m sure to them it is. Some have sloppy seconds, others have sloppy thirds, and some even have sloppy fourths, and so on. It’s like one big fest. They take a bite out of each piece of food and then they pass it around and keep passing it until everyone is full. It’s a never ending cycle of a food chain. But they will never feel full. These people are animals. Hungry vultures, thirsty lions, and craving sharks are all waiting upon your arrival. You might think your getting a sweet dessert tonight but in reality your actually the meal. Just when you think you found love, you wake up cold and alone. "There is no love just appetite". And if you aren’t a hungry animal then your a sweet meal.
You might be hungry right now, but being hungry is nothing compared to a life time of starvation. I’ve been starving my whole life, just when I think I’m about to have a decent meal, I lose my appetite. It’s really disgusting the kind of food that lies beneath the plate. I have very high standards; I will not eat any little crumb on the floor like you do. No I will not, I rather die of starvation then feed off the floor. In this doggy dog world it is eat or be eaten. But I refused both. I refuse to eat garbage and I refuse you. You might try to work your magic on me but it wont work. You might be a sexy fox but I’m a rude porcupine and with every bite you take its like a piercing knife in your throat. You could be as sweet as chocolate and temp me with your lushes ways but as soon as I look into your eyes and see past the sugar coded exterior I see the disgusting animal that you are. The disgusting lair. The filthy hoe that is swarming with diseases. I just lost my appetite. You are a filthy bitch. A filthy dog and nothing more. And though you may have quite an appetite for me, you are nothing but an aversion to me.
If you think you found love, you better wear you heart on your sleeve and put your best gloves on because its going to be one messy dinner. The animals are coming out tonight and they’ve got quite an appetite for you. Your going to be up all night thinking your in love with this but "appetite is lust at best" and you got dog-chow written all over you.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

When its raining I get lonely

When its raining all through the night,
I get lonely and start to cry.

Thunder above crashes down like roaring lions,
Makes dangerous fires in the attic.

I wish you were here so we can play hide-n-seek,
all through the house and never be found.

Running up and down putting dirty hand prints on the walls,
Looking out windows and then falling down.

In the water now its cold as ice,
With lurking monsters it’s a dangerous site.

But don’t be scared now for I am here,
to fight your fears so there wont be no tears.

Oh how I wish you were here,
We can make mud-pies and watch birds fly by.

Sing carols in the sun light as rainbows form in the sky.

Run up and down the fields until we get tired,
Then we lay in the grass and watch clouds float above our heads.

Picking flowers from the ground,
Then plucking them and throwing them down.

Oh I wish, I wish you were here,
Then we watch the sun raise and then watch it fall.

We would scream out windows and spit on walls,
We light the curtains on fire and then blow them out.

Climb the highest tree and watch the stars,
Then we jump down and swim with the sharks.

We‘ll run with the wind and sing with the rain,
Until our lungs give out we’ll play all day.

Oh I wish, how I really wish you were here,
Then I wouldn’t be sad, I wouldn’t be down,
And I wouldn’t be mad.

I wouldn’t be lonely and I wouldn’t be crying,
Because when I’m with you I’m not a phony.

But your not here and its been raining all through the night,
And when its raining I get lonely and I start to cry.