Ph.D

gotta be the first boy in

that’s me

never late

no, never, couldn’t be me?

cuz I want to be better than what you see me

make me out to be

always dissing me

cuz you got a Ph.D

Ph.D?

more like STD

stereotype dick

fucking the cool out of everybody

spreading labels 

chicks with feathers

hippies

guys like me

hipsters

cuz we shop at outfitters

but you’re just a bitter

know it all bitch

fucking book smart bitch

but I’m fucking street smart bitch

and I know these fucking streets

like day and night

while you are only ever here by light

but bitch step into the shadows

and let’s see how smart you are

let’s see you write on walls

tell them ghetto boys how hardcore you are

call them hipsters

call them hippies

wanna see them get pissy?

piss on you

fuck you too

gang bang

ying yang 

all the way to china town

take out bag

truck stop

body parts

fucking bitch is dead by brunch  

but gotta be the first boy in

that’s me

never late

no, never, couldn’t be me?

Ph.D

Alternate ending

Just another day

In a peaceful place

Where the sky doesn’t rain

Until you have a bad day

Well I had a bad day

Maybe one too many days

And now I’m stuck in a hallway

Cause it started to rain  

A once bright lit way

Now is a dark dim cage

You want out

And I want out

But that’s not a way

You can say your part

Maybe apology with heart

Until your heart stops

Then you say

My sweet angel

What have you done?

And I say

Everyone has an alternate ending

And this was mine

Kidnap!

(The perfect Stranger part II)

It’s the crack of dawn and a child like you should be sleeping but mommy is throwing a tantrum in the kitchen because she’s mad. She has no right to wake you up this early, mommy has lost her mind! Scream as loud as you can and tell her to stop! But she’s not stopping. Now go to her and maybe she’s see that you are way more important than what she’s going through. Oh but don’t look now, mommy has got daddy on the ground, she’s hurting him! You don’t understand but a child like you shouldn’t see such violence.

Now mommy is going away and some lady is taking you from your daddy’s arms, you don’t want to go. You’ve always been a daddy’s girl so why is this lady all of a sudden not annoyed to take you away? Daddy didn’t give her permission, you have been kidnap! Dial 911! You are not recognizing this person who is driving you away so you scream as loud as you can but it’s not working this time. She took your daddy away from you! She’s hurting you and she’s not realizing that you’re dying in the back seat, oh darling how could she do this to you?

Finally at nightfall she brought you back home and as everyone started arguing I noticed you were still crying those little brown eyes out. No one thought to take you away, all they care about is themselves. I wish I could take you away from the mess but I’m still a stranger to you and you hardly recognize me. I’m still here though and no matter what they do they could never keep me from you. I will never let her kidnap you again! And I'm sorry that she did, but if she ever does that again she will be in jail! Now darling close your eyes and sleep, you’re safe and sound in your daddy’s arms.

Dog off leash

(Oh brother how you've changed part II)

You been quiet for months now and when the phone rang I took it as a crying out for help. She started to lose control, she lost her grip, you’re a dog off leash! She sunk her teeth into your skin like a vampire she drained you deep, you had no freedom, you had no rights, it was all her fight! She lost it mentally, bite after bite she wanted more, she became a monster that wanted your soul! Push her back! Fight her in court! File the restraining order against her! It’s not about being an asshole and taking her child away from her, it’s about protecting yourself and your child when her claws are out, and right now she’s got you pinned down!

She’s a criminal now, press the charges, press the charges man! You’re a dog off leash! Emancipate yourself from her! But you’re sad eyes tell me you don’t know what to do and like a dog off leash you don’t know where to run, run to me! Just say the word and I’ll take her down in a snap, I’ll fight her in court! You have every right as a father to take your daughter away from a criminal and don’t you let them tell you different! She’s not the parent, she’s just an old hag, don’t let her take your daughter away from you! You’re a dog off leash, you can move around now, you have the ability to move to higher grounds!

Why are you still there? Oh brother how you’ve changed, she really did castrate you, you used to be a pitbull but now you’re just a pussy who can’t stand up for his only daughter. For a second you had control and now she’s back at your throat, please tell me this is your breaking point? How long are you going to let her treat you like this? You’re going to be six feet under one day because she’s crazy! You were a dog off leash but now you’re just a piece of meat and she’s starving!

Better off DEAD!

I used to think you were a friend that would make me laugh better than the rest but from recent events I think you’re better off dead. Your jokes have run out and the shit talking is coming out, you’re not making any sense, I guess your intelligence is dead. You mop the floor with ammonia and bleach just to get second degree burns, you’re never going to learn. You can’t even drive right, your always crashing or speeding, it’s not that hard to look straight but you’re not that smart to look at the signs, wake up bitch! You’re a hazard to society, you put everyone in danger around you, and now you want to take the baby?

You’re the last person that should be involved with a child because you’re still a child mentally! Even at sixty you still can’t get your shit together, you’re all over the place running around like a chicken without a head, you can’t even take care of yourself. You were never meant to be a mother but you got knocked up by a man who couldn’t stand to be around you, seems like no one can, not even your own daughter. You did a shitty job raising your daughter and now you want to do the same to your granddaughter?

Bitch you’re better off dead! But instead you’re making a mess of things so why don’t you go mop the floor with acid and maybe you will burn your whole body that you will actually die this time. Or how about you drive blind since you don’t seem to use your eyes that much and maybe you will finally get into a fatal crash. Why don’t you do us all a favor and just die already bitch! You're better off dead but to me you’re already dead.

Pushed

I really hate when its going good, so good its perfect, and then you have to start with your feelings and push them to me. You like me, I get it, I like you too but I don’t need a push every time we touch. I’m not dumb, I know what’s going on, you don’t need to tell your girlfriends to ask me if I like you, man that’s so high school. I thought you were cool, mature for your age, but your running around like a school girl screaming my name. What the hell is going on? We’re friends but your acting like we’re married and I just committed adultery.

This is crazy, I know what I said, you can’t trap me by my own words. But your so obsess with the conversation that your playing chess with every word you saved. Well I’m not a pawn you push around forcing me to be your king. I’m not there yet, but now I don’t think I’ll ever be. I don’t rush when it comes to love but every chance you get you push me to the edge forcing me to talk. 

There are things you just don’t talk about because the tittles are much more scarier than the actual thing itself. But your so desperate to be in a relationship that your willing to ruin a friendship just to see if there is more than friendship there. Whatever happened to not knowing, serendipity, letting things happen on their own. I really hate that you tormented me by my own words, trapped me in a corner, and then pushed me over the edge.

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The nook

I had a dream where
All the trees were dead
And all the leafs were
In frames on the wall

I had a dream where
All the photos were hanging
On trees and me and you were
Looking for the perfect scene

I had a dream where
I got lost and I couldn’t find
My way so I looked for your
Photo but it didn’t exist

I had a dream where
You couldn’t sleep and you
Tossed and turned all night
Calling out my name

I had a dream where
It rained all day and all night
But it didn’t rain under
The tree I was under

I had a dream where
You wanted to cuddle but
You were in bed with another
And you felt uncomfortable

I had a dream where
I was reading a romance
And I read “he held her all
Night as they laid in the nook”

I had a dream of the perfect
Place where we could lay and I
Made it reality but you are still a dream
and so I dream in the place where I wait,
The nook

A scary fall

I ran.
I ran passed my high school,
I ran through a college,
came out with a degree,
and kept running
to the university of dreams.

The road grew steep,
the air got tense,
and my legs got weak.
Suddenly I stumbled
to the ground
and for a split second
I was down.

My hands were scrapped,
my legs were sore,
and my heart was torn.
I saw my name
on a gravestone
with a timeline
of everything I did
before I died.

I failed at college,
I failed at love,
and I failed at life.
So much pain
I wanted to cry
but then I realized
I was back alive.

The world was watching
as I laid on the ground
bleeding in dust.
I could hear the laughs
so loud and clear
like dogs barking
in your ear.

I fell.
Physically.
Mentally.
And eventually everything
would be on the ground.
And when you look
at your wounds
they look really bad,
almost makes you think
your dead.
But its just a scary fall.
I got right back up
and kept running.

Heads or Tails!?!?

I guess you could say there is two sides, the sweet nice face that smiles back at you, and the long black tail that lashes out. No one can never really know what to expect, everyone has two sides to them and like a coin there is always a head and a tail. But its not a double face, everyone has ups and downs, and right now I might not come around.

I've been mad lately and its easier for you to flip a coin than telling me what's going on because if it's tails then that means war and you rather avoid me overall than dealing with a raging boy. But I'm not a fucking coin, you can't flip me back and forth every time I'm mad. Now tell me, is it heads or tails today? Your so worried about what your going to get, if I'm happy, if he's still angry, if I don't say hello first your going to update your phone. I'm sorry to say its tails today.

My day will rage on, yours won't involve me at all, and I will wait all fucking day just to hear you say it was easier to update your webpage than telling me you were sick. Well I'm fucking sick! So sick of you thinking I'm pissed off when I'm not! But your mind is set, I'm a fucking maniac and your a saint. I guess you could say there is two sides, the person standing in front of the mirror, and the person in the reflection.