Thursday, October 17, 2013

a very slow mourning...

It was a slow morning. The sheets stuck to me like glue as I tossed and turn. I wanted to get up but every ounce of my body wanted to lay there in the sheet-like-cocoon. I got the feeling of metamorphosis, as if I was a giant caterpillar waiting to be transformed into a butterfly. I started to think of darkness. I thought of a terrible thought, one that scared me. Then I imaged that today was going to be a gloomy day. I thought I should just sleep because sleep is so good to me. So that’s just what I did, I slowly closed my eyes and fell into a deep slumber. 

In my dream I dreamt of a distance time, a time when I was just a child. There I was, outside, so curious about life, about what’s makes the world go round. Bugs, at a certain age they can entertain you all day, and there I was looking at a ladybug. It was beautiful. I wanted to hold it. I wanted to keep it forever. But when I touched it something happened. The ladybug turned completely gray as my finger made contact with the insect, washing the brightly vivid red away. The ladybug didn’t move. Then a light breeze came along and the ladybug slowly faded into the wind like dust. A tear slowly dripped down of my face as the world around me turn dark. 

When I woke up it was 6 in the afternoon. I was soaked in my own sweat, burning up from the summer heat. There was no air blowing, no wind howling, not a sound; only heat pouring down. I felt different as if I had changed while I was sleeping. But physically I looked the same. Inside though, I felt different. Not like a butterfly, not like a caterpillar, but something completely different- something that was another species. I felt poison in my veins. I felt venomous as if my lips could kill someone with just a kiss. I felt dangerous. I felt like I was no longer a sweet friendly caterpillar. I feel like I am a deadly wasp ready to sting.     


  1. Ha ha miss you too <3
    Been busy with school but finally (on spring break) have time to post some stories.

  2. Oh BTW.. I always forget but I always read your blog too..
    But I can never leave a comment because it won't let me. Says something about a news feed subscription but I follow your blog so I don't understand.

    I can't believe you cut your hair! Nooooo lol. It looks nice but the sides too short! I loved your old hair... hopefully you kept it to make it into a wig or extensions? You know just in case you want a different look. Well it was nice reading your blog.