The rollercoaster called love

I waited all day, I waited all night, weeks, months, years, even decades. I think even in previous lives I waited centuries just to get a glimpse of it. But today I only waited hours in the flustering line clustered with people waiting to ride the ride. Someone asked if the waiting was almost over, I asked if the wait was worth the ride, then I heard the ride approaching and I knew I was finally at the front of the line. People came screaming off the ride, “It’s the best I ever had!” as the ride halts before my eyes, my stomach started twisting in knots as I stepped aboard the rollercoaster called love. It began to slowly take off then it started to climb - up, up, up it went into the sky. I was up so high I thought I was going to die. Then when I thought the rollercoaster was going to come steeply speeding down, it just went straight cruising along the skyline.

I was up there with all the stars and on a summer night they are really nice but to be honest the stars weren’t as bright as they were when I watched them from below. Up and close they are dull, full of dust, covered in lust. They lost their shine, it didn’t make me want to be their mine, and they weren’t even kind. Everyone seemed to be impressed but I was distressed! The ride was more than one night and I wasn’t having fun - I just wanted to get off the ride but it wasn’t ending. The ride continued to go in a straight horizontal line, there were no twists, no thrills, no down falls, it was just a boring ride. I thought this was going to be like the movies when they go on a magic carpet ride, when the boy kisses the girl and sparks fly, when they close their eyes and hold each other’s hands because the ride is a scary bumpy life full of twists and sharp curves.

But no, this wasn’t like that. There was no magic, there were no kisses, and there was no element of surprise. The ride was socially awkward. And when it finally came to an end I cried. To have waited this long for such a disappointment, how could you not cry? I waited all day, I waited all night, weeks, months, years, even decades. And when I finally got to the front of the line and got in, and then came out, I realized I was in line to a whore house this whole time. This is love? I rather die, so this is my goodbye.

Scarlet FEVER

I woke up way too early today by accident, dawn is just breaking in, but for some reason I have this sudden urge to run. I close my eyes for a second to imagine the stars fading away as I run through the wee hours of the morning- it’s an adrenaline rush. The excitement has filled by body within seconds that I don’t even bother to put on my shoes or wear my clothes, I run out in the nude. Everything was going fine until a shadow crossed by path, now I’m burning up, weighing a thousand pounds heavier as everything spins out of control. I lost my balance, now I’m on the floor and there is a strange figure standing to the right. 

His foot is ice cold as he places his foot over my mouth so that I won’t scream- his cold foot is a relief to my burning sensation. “Don’t hurt him”, says a women’s voice in the background as she came forward into the light. Hers eyes are scarlet red as they locked on to mine- it was like I couldn’t look away. It felt like I was under hypnosis, I could hear everything, but I couldn’t move an inch of my body- I was numb. Then the morning fog rolled in and they faded into the dark as I lay in a pool of blood, their gone. 

I’m not sure what happened, I’m not sure who they were or what they were, if they were human or if they were monsters. But I have a feeling a ritual was performed and now I have this scarlet fever. Did I find love? Was it lust? It couldn’t have been because I’ve never felt this way before. But I have all these bite marks all over my body and no teeth to show for it. Suddenly I feel sick. I feel disgusted. I can’t stand it. I closed my eyes- I just want this scarlet fever to go away. I scream as loud as I could, then I realized I was just in the comfort of my own home this whole time, was I dreaming? Because dawn is still breaking in… But why is my skin broken? I have scarlet FEVER.

Oh brother how you've changed

I woke up today to find you here banging on our door, demanding why I didn’t let you in before, but excuse me I thought you didn’t live here anymore? Why do you keep coming back and asking for our help? Once your out, your out, your on your own. Don’t look back, just keep going straight forward on that path, no matter how bumpy or crazy it seems its life and sometimes that’s just the way it’s suppose to be. These are lessons in life you must learn, but when your here almost every day asking for money, childcare, or whatever the dilemma of the day is, your not learning anything. 

It’s not cool when your twenty-five, you have a child, but you have no job. Your the man, your suppose to be wearing the pants, bringing home all the cash. But instead your so far up her ass, she’s got you wrapped around her finger, and in a snap she’s got you on your knees licking the crap off her ass. Your her bitch and she’s got you on a short leash. She’s completely emasculated you, she ripped off your testicles and she has them inside her mouth, using them as the mouthpiece which she speaks from.

She castrated you, oh brother how you’ve changed. Your no longer the father, your the mother who gave birth to this daughter, and now she’s a reminder of you. I remember when we were young, you were the bigger brother, now I look down on you and pity you, what a difference five years have made. Your my brother up until the day your not my brother and I think that day is today. Take back your balls, even if she bleeds, grab them while you can and place them where they belong. Until then you are not my brother, have fun being a mother.

a cure for a poor man's heart

A poor man stumbles over a rock as he walks the streets in search for a job. He’s in aching pain, he has a disease that’s rotting his core, his mouth is full of nerves that have been exposed. It is a horrific situation, for he could die if he doesn’t find a way to pay for the cure, but being poor is why poverty has taken its tolls. All day he walked the streets looking for a job but his pronunciation wasn’t as good as the occupation he was applying to and he didn’t get the job. He dreads to go home without finding a job because he knew you would be angry if he didn’t bring home a little cash, but there he goes. 

 

He walks into the mansion you live in with a tear in his eye, but you’re not the kind of person to be sympathetic over this kind of situation, and you raise your voice about the bills getting paid. It doesn’t take you long until you ask his family for money but a poor man has an even poorer family. You can put on your sad face, you can cry out your eyes all you want, and you can say it’s for the cure but you don’t fool me one bit. If you love him so much you would pay for the cure yourself, it’s a small price for a life time of love, but you’re not in love, you’re in lust, and you prove it everyday. All you care about is yourself; you’re a selfish, narcissistic, egotistical bitch. 

You want his family to pay but I got your cure right here; sell your new car, sell your new washer, sell your big screen TV, sell your expensive toothbrushes, sell everything! Don’t be afraid to leave your new house to live under a bridge, don’t be afraid to go from eating at restaurants to eating out of dumpsters, and don’t be afraid to give up your life to save a life you love. It’s for a cure for a poor man’s heart but you don’t deserve his heart. And that’s why you don’t have a ring around your finger because you can’t handle the for better or for worst part of a marriage. You say it’s a do or die situation but he’s still rotting inside while you sit on your porcelain throne.

The opening of doors

The first thing I hear is clapping, the first thing I see is smiles, and the first thing I smell is the fear running through the back of my mind like a lamb facing a pack of lions. I am in this illusion of success as the doors of opportunity open before my eyes causing this sudden burst of high emotions. But just as every door in my future cracks opens, every door from my past slowly unlocks. I am in a mental place now, between my imagination and my conscience, there is a ceremony of commencement going on. And just as I'm about to cross the stage I look back, the short hallway suddenly becomes endless, and every door slams open.

The clapping suddenly stops, the smiles quickly fade, and the fear instantly becomes horror. There is a monster creeping out of the door that reads 'HIGH SCHOOL'. The monster's tentacle immediately grabs me and slowly drags me through the dark endless hallway. As I am being dragged through my past my dreams start to get teary as they drip out like smoke. I wish someone could save me, that someone could fight this nightmare away, to lock the door forever. A friend maybe? But back then I had no friends and now the nightmare is slowly eating me away.

As I am getting closer to the door I am becoming more and more weak. I'm beginning to wonder that I might not make it. My future is starting to look like miles away as I begin to enter the 'HIGH SCHOOL' room. I am an inch away from the monster when I start to think about what I have accomplished, the goals I made, and the future that awaits. All of a sudden the monster, the hallway, and the doors all disappear. I am now crossing a stage, holding a paper that means nothing to me, wondering if the doors of my past will ever stay closed? But all I hear is clapping, all I see is smiling back at me, and the only thing I smell is the smell of a new beginning.

Reality check on aisle two

Welcome to the store of superficiality, where barbie gets botox, where ken gets a tan, and where you shop for food. I saw you enter the store with a baby and I thought what a lovely mother you are. But then as I saw you go down the aisles and fill up the shopping cart, I realized you aren't a mother at all, you are just some stupid fat bitch with a baby. When you have a baby that just pooped its last diaper and the food just ran out, its only motherly of you to go out and buy more, but all your buying is beer. We're going to need a reality check on aisle two please.

Just put back all the alcohol ma'am and you won't get hurt. But all you do is laugh. You think its funny that your baby is in a newspaper diaper you made yourself, but its far from funny, its just sad. Your baby has no clothes, yet you have all new tags on, put back all those beer cans ma'am and buy your baby some pants. We need a reality bitch slap on aisle two! Ma'am, step away from that shinny new car, can't you see that you are in debt. You went to a rock concert instead of paying your rent and now your in deep debt. But you don't care. When things get tough you run to mom and dad for money, you say its for the bills, and they give you all they can. But stop telling lies! All your buying is beer. ATTENTION ALL EMPLOYEES, WE NEED A REALITY BEATING ON AISLE TWO! ASAP!

Excuse me ma'am, your a selfish bitch, and I'm not going to take it anymore. I'll be the one to bitch slap you every time you buy beer instead of baby food. Don't deny ma'am, I just caught you red handed. I don't care if its your birthday today, twenty-one isn't all about having fun. Your a mother now and its about time you start acting like one. Spend time with your child instead of spending time with your friends. Ma'am save your breath, I know your type. All you want to do is party all day, you don't care that you have a child or bills to pay, all you care about is having fun. But I'm sorry ma'am that's not the way you raise a child. I don't care if you get angry, I don't care if you start crying, I'll be the one that beats the shit out of you when you step out of line.

YOU BITCH! HOW DARE YOU ASK MY MOTHER FOR MONEY WHEN YOU ARE MAKING WAY MORE THEN SHE DOES! AND SHES STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEAT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU, I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU UNTIL YOUR EYES TURN BLACK, UNTIL BLOOD COMES POURING OUT OF YOUR NOSE, UNTIL ALL YOUR TEETH HAVE FALLEN OFF! I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU UNTIL YOU LEARN!..... Clean up on aisle two please.

Code blue

(The clash of friendship part II)

The last thing I remember is that we were flying in the sky, higher then the clouds, above heaven and its Angels. Then all of a sudden we started going down, into the ground we crashed, burning into the ocean. Now I'm in this hospital bed covered in wounds, flowers on the nightstand, and you by my side like if you had been here all this time. But bitch get your hands off my chest because the last thing I remember was that you drove this friendship right into the ground. Now you want to bring me back because your life sucks but that’s just too bad. Go ahead and sound the alarm, tell them its a code blue because my heart just stopped beating for you.

Run the nurses right in, even bring the doctors too, they can't fix this heart, it just beat its last pulse. Crash cart now, defibrillate my heart, but remember if you bring me back I still hate your ass. Yeah my heart is beating again but how long can I stand to look at you? Your still sickening me, bitch step back, get off my dick. I don't want to give you a chance because the last time I did you let what's her face back into my life causing drama and my mama said "I don't want her here". Can't you get a clue bitch, I don't love you. Why did you bring me back? I was having fun with my grandma and my dog skip. Now I'm in this world again, I thought I left it behind but you dug me up, bitch can't you let me die in peace.

Tears are dripping down your face like a river it has a current but bitch you won't drag me in. I don't believe any of your sympathetic bull shit. Please just stop your making me sick! I'm going now cause I can't stand one more minuet of this, I'll just unplug all these needles cause I never wanted any of this. Just forget about me, pretend I don't exist, I already did the same, bitch I don't care if you can't sleep. This is me ripping my heart out of my chest because I don't want to live, try resuscitating me now bitch, I'm fucken dead. Go ahead and sound the alarm, tell them its a code blue because my heart just stopped beating for you.