The opening of doors

The first thing I hear is clapping, the first thing I see is smiles, and the first thing I smell is the fear running through the back of my mind like a lamb facing a pack of lions. I am in this illusion of success as the doors of opportunity open before my eyes causing this sudden burst of high emotions. But just as every door in my future cracks opens, every door from my past slowly unlocks. I am in a mental place now, between my imagination and my conscience, there is a ceremony of commencement going on. And just as I'm about to cross the stage I look back, the short hallway suddenly becomes endless, and every door slams open.

The clapping suddenly stops, the smiles quickly fade, and the fear instantly becomes horror. There is a monster creeping out of the door that reads 'HIGH SCHOOL'. The monster's tentacle immediately grabs me and slowly drags me through the dark endless hallway. As I am being dragged through my past my dreams start to get teary as they drip out like smoke. I wish someone could save me, that someone could fight this nightmare away, to lock the door forever. A friend maybe? But back then I had no friends and now the nightmare is slowly eating me away.

As I am getting closer to the door I am becoming more and more weak. I'm beginning to wonder that I might not make it. My future is starting to look like miles away as I begin to enter the 'HIGH SCHOOL' room. I am an inch away from the monster when I start to think about what I have accomplished, the goals I made, and the future that awaits. All of a sudden the monster, the hallway, and the doors all disappear. I am now crossing a stage, holding a paper that means nothing to me, wondering if the doors of my past will ever stay closed? But all I hear is clapping, all I see is smiling back at me, and the only thing I smell is the smell of a new beginning.

Reality check on aisle two

Welcome to the store of superficiality, where barbie gets botox, where ken gets a tan, and where you shop for food. I saw you enter the store with a baby and I thought what a lovely mother you are. But then as I saw you go down the aisles and fill up the shopping cart, I realized you aren't a mother at all, you are just some stupid fat bitch with a baby. When you have a baby that just pooped its last diaper and the food just ran out, its only motherly of you to go out and buy more, but all your buying is beer. We're going to need a reality check on aisle two please.

Just put back all the alcohol ma'am and you won't get hurt. But all you do is laugh. You think its funny that your baby is in a newspaper diaper you made yourself, but its far from funny, its just sad. Your baby has no clothes, yet you have all new tags on, put back all those beer cans ma'am and buy your baby some pants. We need a reality bitch slap on aisle two! Ma'am, step away from that shinny new car, can't you see that you are in debt. You went to a rock concert instead of paying your rent and now your in deep debt. But you don't care. When things get tough you run to mom and dad for money, you say its for the bills, and they give you all they can. But stop telling lies! All your buying is beer. ATTENTION ALL EMPLOYEES, WE NEED A REALITY BEATING ON AISLE TWO! ASAP!

Excuse me ma'am, your a selfish bitch, and I'm not going to take it anymore. I'll be the one to bitch slap you every time you buy beer instead of baby food. Don't deny ma'am, I just caught you red handed. I don't care if its your birthday today, twenty-one isn't all about having fun. Your a mother now and its about time you start acting like one. Spend time with your child instead of spending time with your friends. Ma'am save your breath, I know your type. All you want to do is party all day, you don't care that you have a child or bills to pay, all you care about is having fun. But I'm sorry ma'am that's not the way you raise a child. I don't care if you get angry, I don't care if you start crying, I'll be the one that beats the shit out of you when you step out of line.

YOU BITCH! HOW DARE YOU ASK MY MOTHER FOR MONEY WHEN YOU ARE MAKING WAY MORE THEN SHE DOES! AND SHES STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEAT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU, I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU UNTIL YOUR EYES TURN BLACK, UNTIL BLOOD COMES POURING OUT OF YOUR NOSE, UNTIL ALL YOUR TEETH HAVE FALLEN OFF! I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU UNTIL YOU LEARN!..... Clean up on aisle two please.

Code blue

(The clash of friendship part II)

The last thing I remember is that we were flying in the sky, higher then the clouds, above heaven and its Angels. Then all of a sudden we started going down, into the ground we crashed, burning into the ocean. Now I'm in this hospital bed covered in wounds, flowers on the nightstand, and you by my side like if you had been here all this time. But bitch get your hands off my chest because the last thing I remember was that you drove this friendship right into the ground. Now you want to bring me back because your life sucks but that’s just too bad. Go ahead and sound the alarm, tell them its a code blue because my heart just stopped beating for you.

Run the nurses right in, even bring the doctors too, they can't fix this heart, it just beat its last pulse. Crash cart now, defibrillate my heart, but remember if you bring me back I still hate your ass. Yeah my heart is beating again but how long can I stand to look at you? Your still sickening me, bitch step back, get off my dick. I don't want to give you a chance because the last time I did you let what's her face back into my life causing drama and my mama said "I don't want her here". Can't you get a clue bitch, I don't love you. Why did you bring me back? I was having fun with my grandma and my dog skip. Now I'm in this world again, I thought I left it behind but you dug me up, bitch can't you let me die in peace.

Tears are dripping down your face like a river it has a current but bitch you won't drag me in. I don't believe any of your sympathetic bull shit. Please just stop your making me sick! I'm going now cause I can't stand one more minuet of this, I'll just unplug all these needles cause I never wanted any of this. Just forget about me, pretend I don't exist, I already did the same, bitch I don't care if you can't sleep. This is me ripping my heart out of my chest because I don't want to live, try resuscitating me now bitch, I'm fucken dead. Go ahead and sound the alarm, tell them its a code blue because my heart just stopped beating for you.

The map to my heart (please don't get lost)

If I drew you a map to my heart, you would finally follow the path? All my life people have been promising me that they will find my heart but they always seem to get lost between the forest of temptation and the thorns of infidelity. I'm tired of being dead, I'm tired of being cold, I'm tired of being all alone. I just want to feel something, the tiniest little pulse is all I need, and then I could finally die knowing my heart beat. But don't make promises you cannot keep, don't have doubts for you will bleed, and don't verge off the path. Just follow the map to my heart and it will be yours to keep.

Find a way past the brick wall and your journey will begin. You must go through the land of sharp objects were you will bleed. But don't take a rest, and don't take a seat, for the sharp objects will make you scream while rives of blood will pour out of your skin. Just take a leap and hope you land on your feet. Once you get past the bottle caps the blood will stop. But don't slow down, and don't look up, for this is the land of exploding bombs. One wrong step and your guts will be splattered all over the ground. Just spin around like a tornado until your able to dodge all the bombs. Then get on the ground because then comes the bullets from the army man. Your in a war zone now and you must fight for me into the death and beyond. Many have died but I know if you try you will get by and proceed to the dead man's beach. This beach may seem like paradise but don't you take a break, beneath the sand lies a million corpse, just waiting to drag you below. You must have faith in order to go on, say a prayer, cast your demons aside, and the dead man's hands wont be able to take you down. Straight ahead is the sea of broken friendships where my best friend died. This sea is filled with horrible monsters, as soon as your flesh touches the water, the monsters will rip you to shreds. You have to be able to glide above the water, but don't fly too high because those who do, crash into the water and burn. Just gently hover over the sea until your able to reach the desert of black scorpions. Once you arrive at the desert you must become best friends with the scorpions, it is the only way to survive the desert, those who don't will die. The scorpions will help you get through the desert and lead you into the forest of temptation. Here in the forest the trees look like men and you will be tempted to look at their tree trunks. You will be captivated by the beauty of the trees and because of this you will get lost. Let my voice be the rope that pulls you away, just close yours eyes, open your heart to my voice, and you will get by.

Next comes the land of raging storms where you must face my rage. Here the sky only rains fire, the wind only blows lighting bolts, and the ground opens up releasing seven different hells. You must be able to walk through fire, breathe in lighting bolts, and survive hell in order to go on. Then comes the passage of death. You will think it is impossible to get up a hill where giant boulders are constantly rolling down, but it is possible. Where there is a will, there is a way. Once you are on top of the hill you will feel like you are on top of the world but don't gloat about your success just yet, there is a mountain of ice to be climb. Here you will face water in its deadliest form and if the ice doesn't kill you the cold will. You must have a warm heart to get you through the cold mountain. Once you get across the mountain you will find the most beautiful place ever, the thorns of infidelity. Here you will find a prince charming in every corner of each street and you will think you are getting that fairy tale ending. But fairy tales are only in children story books, this is reality, there is no such thing as a fairy tale. Your prince charming is just some guy wanting to get you in his bed and he'll do anything just to get you there. So don't stop to smell the roses, don't stop to listen to the bull shit, and stop if you see diamond rings becuase happiness is just a mile away. Once you swim your last mile through the sea of loneliness you will find yourself upon a paradise island. Here you will find my heart, to keep, forever. You've reached your destination and now I can finally die. My life of eternal happiness awaits.

The sun doesn’t shine when your around

I woke up in a world of darkness, well that’s what they tell me, its what the doctor says. I only remember waking up by your side, in a bed that was too small for your comfort. It was there in that bed that I realized the sun doesn’t shine when your around. Its always dark in that room, I could never really tell what was going on. It was like my eyelids were glued shut, I could hear your footsteps but I couldn’t see you. Then I would hear screams of a child and I would cry because I knew something was terribly wrong. I could hear it, I could smell it, I could feel it. It was horrible like flesh being peeled off and then shoved into a bleeding wound for someone’s sick pleasure. And when it was all over you would tell me you loved me, but all I could think about was the child.

When you left that day I saw the child for the first time in a corner of my room. The child was very scared and hurt. The closer I got to the child the more I realized this couldn’t be real. The child was covered in bruises and blood. I ask the child who did this? The child pointed to your picture. It was like a bad dream, I didn’t know what to do. Call the cops and save the child, or do nothing and stay with the one I love. I decided to make the right choice but the funniest thing happened, they took me instead. I told them about the child but they didn’t listen, they had me strapped to one of those emergency bed things and the next thing I knew I was in a hospital.

I keep telling them that they got the wrong person, that it was the child that was severely hurt, but they keep telling me I woke up in a world of darkness. Now I’m surrounded by doctors and nurses that keep telling me I’m going to be alright. This one nurse tells me I’m lucky because I survived. I don’t know what happened, all I know is the sun doesn’t shine when your around and I’m tired of being in the dark.

The clash of friendship

When all emotions are laid on the table you feel a sense of relief and start to recover from the weight of your words. But don’t let your guard down just yet because just when you think your in a safe house this friendly place shifts into a hostile environment. All of a sudden the fire alarm goes off and people are fleeing. It seems like a war broke out with all the chaos erupting from the crowd, you better find your place fast because if your not on my side your dead. This isn’t a fire drill, this is a code red, a mayday because we’re going down. We’re about to crash and when we do, will you survive?

Torn apart by the impact, you burn a dark green like a poisonous venom set on fire. Your true colors are showing, dark and evil isn’t something I’m interested in. The rain pours in and just when you think you might be safe by repenting a tsunami crashes down on you and shifts you around. Your upside downs twisting in half like a rag doll, your in the palms of my hands now and it is up to me to save you from drowning. But no matter what I say or do your beyond saving. You’re a lost cause. Water fills your lungs as the oceans swallows you whole.

This is the clash of our friendship and you didn’t survive. We went head on like two cars colliding with each other and you ended up being fatal. You will soon be forgotten like the tragic accident that you are. You will begin to fade from all the pictures, your voice will no longer be heard, and your name is suddenly forgotten like everything else about you. You're a stranger that is already dead. My life will continue to move on as yours will never leave the one position it was program to, being on your knees. We've clashed, now understand your place in my life is no more.

Misunderstood

Its funny how people think they got you all figured out. They think they can write your life story because they spent one day with you, but boy are they wrong. Like a mother knows a daughter, she will only know what she tells, never knowing of those dark secrets one carries. Only when one walks in another shoes will one fully understand someone. But whether they walk one inch or one mile they will never agree to such bull shit. They know you. They know you so well that they label you in a specific category that will define your every movement in life. No matter how much you protest it will do you no good because they got you right where they want you, in a friendship.

People call you by your new name and you wonder if it’s a nickname or if its permanent. But it never gets washed away or forgotten or even fades. Its stays strong in the back of their mind like an obsession; they believe their right. You forget who you are when everyone is telling you what you are and what your not. You become something that is universal and everywhere you go your expected to like certain things, but you don’t. You hate it. You hate everything about it. And as years go by people realized you never rolled with the change, never once stood by your name, never gave in to all those stupid games.

They misunderstood you. If they were blind they would of died because its not about what you hear, its about what you see and they didn’t see a thing. All they did was poke you with someone sharp that made you bleed. But their blind, they didn’t see the blood, they didn’t see your pain. Their going to eat their words because they misunderstood you. All this time you were just a friend and now they’re wishing you were more then just a friend. Its funny how people think they know you, that they can defined you, that they can just rename you. But karma is a bitch and your going to be praying that I don’t misunderstand you like you misunderstood me.