Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Decision making

Sometimes the thing you want the most is not often the thing you need the most. But when you obtain this thing you crossed oceans and moved mountains for, you find yourself unhappy and questioning yourself, what will my future be like? Will it be this unhappy? Is it just a bad day? A bad month? A bad year? It’s so easy to put something back on a self at a store that you just simply changed your mind about buying when checking-out. It’s not so easy though to take someone out of your life that you thought you wanted because of love, until one day you realize, was I ever in love? Maybe I was blinded by my want and fooled by my need. In this world you often get cheated, but it’s not about grieving about your lost, it’s about the decisions you make once you realize where you are. 

Should I go left and go down that scary path? Or should I go right and leave my current life? Maybe I should go straight forward into the darkness, not knowing where I’ll end up, dead or alive. If only there was a way of going back, knowing what I know now, would I make the same mistake twice? Oh decision making, I love the way you make me pull my hair out at night, staying up until the morning light. It’s a tough decision but it’s easy to make when it’s not your life. This very thought brings you to tears that it’s so easy to get where you want to be but it’s so hard to make that decision. 

Sometimes the thing we want the most keeps us from the thing we need the most. Yet, we always get what we want and in the end we are unhappy. It’s exhausting to think about all things we got by wanting and now we have all these things we don’t want. The stress of unwanted things, the fear of being unhappy, and the need of knowing is a constant ridicule that is haunting our mind. But no decision has been made, instead we breakdown and cry.